Conquering fears

One of my secret fears in life is seaweed. If I'm at a lake or someplace else where the bottom of the water is NOT covered by sand, I get creeped out when stuff touches the bottoms of my feet. Or, if I'm in a boat, I can't help but imagine it capsizing and the seaweed reaching up, wrapping around my legs, and pulling me under.

This past Christmas, I got the opportunity to mix my personal fear of seaweed and the generic fear of suffocation by being trapped under ice. I crossed the Moosonee Ice Road. I assure you, it was great fuel for nightmares.

Every winter, the Moose River freezes over. The ice grows so thick that you can literally driver cars over it. Now, it's one thing to know this in theory, but another to see it in practice. While walking by the river bank in Moosonee with my family, I could see cars, snowmobiles and people walking across the water. I'll admit that a part of me wanted to cross the river, but another part of me was terrified by the idea of it. Either my family could tell that I wanted to try it, or they just wanted some entertainment by watching me freak out, but they decided to drag me across the ice to the island of Moose Factory.

You see, my mom and sisters grew up in Moosonee. For them the ice road is a normal part of life. Me? I'm from the South. Down here, only idiots and ice fishers go out on top of the ice. Heck, prior to this Christmas, the last time I was on ice that wasn't a skating rink was when I was 12 years old, fooling around on my friend's frozen pond and fell through the ice. (And then the next day I managed to fall into an abandoned well.)

We piled into the vehicle. They were "gracious" enough to let me have the front seat (AKA they wanted me to have a better view with which to freak out better). Immediately when June, my eldest sister who was driving, turned off the land road to start descending the river bank we were confronted with a giant yellow road block at the bottom of the bank and beyond that you can see a bit of broken ice in the water. It was like a sign from God saying, "Hey IDIOTS! There's frozen water beyond this point! Turn back or I'll get all Darwin on your asses!" Apparently the road block was just there to indicate that you weren't supposed to drive directly forward - you had to turn left and look for a better spot to get on to the ice.

So before I could completely chicken out, we drove on to the ice. I swear, my heart was beating faster than when I parachuted from 12,000 feet. I was operating on pure adrenaline for the entire experience! I am not ashamed to admit that I was secretly reviewing every TV show I've seen on how to escape from a sunken vehicle. (Meaning, roll down the window slowly, let the car fill up with water until the last possible moment, etc.)

I was surprised by how bumpy the ride was - the ice and surface snow had created some truly amazing craters (err, pot holes) that we had to dodge. Half way across the river, they pulled the car over and made me get out and stand on the ice. Now the amusing thing about getting out of the car is that they thought I'd be more freaked out by standing directly on the ice. Hell, my only thoughts were along the line of "Oh thank god I'm out of the heavy vehicle which is much more likely to plunge into the frozen depths than little ol' me!" We took a couple of photos before jumping back in the car.

While continuing our drive, one smartass pointed out the giant cracks that we were driving over. June joked and said that they were fault lines. Can you see how cruel my family is? Trying to rile me up even more than I already was? I won't be surprised if I need therapy in a few years.

I think the most terrifying part of the experience was getting up and down the Moose Factory side of the river. When we got to the other river bank, there was a great deal of water on top of the ice - to me it looked like the ice was broken and water had bubbled to the top (which was partially true). I had the lovely opportunity to watch a taxi ahead of us have trouble ascending the river bank - it was so slippery/icy that it kept sliding around before it finally made it up. Next it was our turn.

Oh my god. We literally had to drive through a foot of water to get to the river bank. June slowed down the vehicle to go through it so that she wouldn't splash it up into her engine. I wasn't aware of this thought process though. My mind was running more to the idea that we needed to get up to launching speed! We made it across the small expanse of water and started going up the river bank... Only to have the same problem as the taxi. Our car, with all-wheel drive, started sliding BACKWARDS towards a bad patch of water we had avoided! I honestly thought we were going to end up in the water. When I get extremely nervous, I sometimes get really quiet. While mounting the river bank, I don't think I was even breathing in my effort not to make noise! However, we made it! Safe and sound!

While at Moose Factory we stopped at a couple of stores. I kept looking for a life jacket so that I could joke that I wanted it for the ride back, but with now luck. At one of the stores we ran into my Uncle Terry. My mom told me about my quest for a life jacket and helpfully he reminded us, "Oh, you don't have to worry about drowning - the hypothermia will get you first." Yeah. Reeeeaaaal helpful there!

The trip back to Moosonee was almost just as bad. First of all, by the time we returned, it was full dark out and with the exception of our headlights, there were no other lights to help guide our way. We couldn't even see the lights of Moosonee across the river because there was another small island in the way!

The worst part of the return trip was getting down the stupid slippery river bank again. Remember how I mentioned that we had slid down it backwards? Yeah, well this time we started sliding down it forwards! My middle sister and I were practically ready to get out and offer to push the damned car back onto the proper track! By some miracle of miracles, we managed to avoid sliding into the water and got "safely" on the ice.

While driving across the black expanse of ice it was pitch black. When we finally passed the small island that was blocking our view of Moosonee and could see the lights of the town I cried out, "Oh thank God, civilization!" Everyone laughed because most of the time, I tend to be derisive of Moosonee - calling a city of 5000 people "civilized" is a big concession on my part.

By the time we finally made it back to land on the Moosonee side, I was ready to drop down and kiss the ground. I honestly cannot express how nervous I was about the drive across. I knew that the chances of anything happening weren't very big, after all, they check the depth of the ice regularly, plows go out on the river to clear the road, etc. But I couldn't help the pitter patter of my heart nor the shocky state of my nerves. Despite my fears, I survived. What should I do for my next adventure? Wrangle alligators? Walk barefoot across coals? We’ll just have to wait and see.