Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Humor appetizers

I like to capture the funny points in my life, just so I can look back on them and chuckle. Therefore I'm writing these down before I forgot.

Rosemary
Many of you have met Rosemary, the creepy creepy doll that has become my family's mascot. I was joking with my family that now that Rosemary has emigrated to a French-speaking province, she should have a French name. Well, in one of my rare moments of wittiness, I decided her French name will be "Marie-Antoinette." Why that name? Because Rosemary's head isn't very well attached.

Lost
Have you ever received one of those email forwards that list what best friends do for each other? One of the lines in them reads something like, "I'll answer the phone and help explain to you where you are on your map. Dumbass." I never understood that particular joke until last Thursday. I decided to walk home from work because it was such a nice day. Unfortunately I didn't pay much attention to my directions - I just glanced at them before I left the office. I knew I had to turn somewhere, but couldn't remember where. I ended up just walking along one of the streets. I was 97% sure that the road I was on would eventually meet up with the giant highway near my house, but I wasn't quite sure.

Well, I'm walking. And walking. And walking some more. No highway. Walk some more. By now, it's been at least an hour since I set out on this foolish expedition. I start to wonder, "Hmm, am I sure the streets intersect? What if the highway starts further North...? What if the streets curve?" So I bite the bullet and phone my parents. The conversation goes kind of as follows:
Mau: Hey!
Mom: Hi!
Mau: So uh, are you at your computer right now?
Mom: No, I'm just having dinner. Why?
Mau: Umm, I'm kinda but not really lost.
Mom: ... What?
Mau: Well, I'm pretty sure I know where I am, but I'm getting tired and I just want to make sure that I'm not going to walk longer than I have to...

We ended up hanging up without finding out where I was, but I finally stumbled upon the intersection I was looking for. Unfortunately it didn't look anything like a highway, but I set down along it heedless. My mom eventually phoned me back, this time from her computer and she was able to tell me that I was on the right track. In the end it came to naught as 5 minutes after we hung up (again) I came across one of the metro stations near my area. Oh great and glorious God! Thank you! All in all it took me about 2 hours to get home.

Note to self: Like Paris, Montreal is a lot bigger in real life than on a map. :|

(Hmm. I just googled the route that I took - apparently I walked 7km! (It would have been 8.5km if I completed the walk instead of taking the metro home.)

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